Feeling Supported During Birth — Even Without a Partner
When people think of pregnancy, they most often imagine two people involved — but that’s not the reality for everyone. Some people choose to become single parents from the start. Others find themselves navigating pregnancy after loss or separation. Sometimes, partners are away for work, deployment, or other circumstances beyond anyone’s control. Every situation is unique, and each story is equally valid.
If you find yourself preparing for birth without a partner, know that it doesn’t mean you have to feel unsupported or alone. There are many ways to create a sense of strength, care, and connection throughout this journey, regardless of who is or isn't physically present.
Preparing for Birth
Taking a childbirth education class can be one of the best ways to prepare. Classes help you understand what to expect during labor and birth while connecting you with others who are walking a similar path. They can also open your eyes to the wide range of choices you have when it comes to birth. Everything from comfort measures and pain management options to positions for labor, breathing techniques, and ways to advocate for yourself in the moment.
High Country Doulas offers a range of childbirth education classes designed to meet people wherever they are in their journey. There are virtual options for those who prefer to learn from home, as well as in-person classes where doulas can attend in place of a partner to offer comfort and support. Additionally, a pregnant person can bring someone in replace of a partner such as a trusted family member, friend, or their doula.
There are also single or small-group classes available in many communities and online spaces for those preparing to give birth solo. Taking time to learn about what to expect can help you connect more deeply with your body and your instincts as you prepare to welcome your baby.
Finding Your Circle of Support
Support can look different for everyone. It might be trusted friends, a family member, or a doula who offers grounding reassurance during this time. For some, community can also be found in online spaces, birth groups, or even among neighbors and coworkers. There is no single way to build your circle, and what matters most is feeling seen, safe, and encouraged.
Focus Your Mind
Birth is both a physical and emotional experience, and the way you prepare your mind can have a powerful impact on how you feel throughout the process. When you’re giving birth without a partner, moments of fear or uncertainty can naturally come up. Thoughts like “I’m scared to do this alone” or “I wish someone were here with me” are completely valid. Try letting those feelings come and go without judgment. Notice them for what they are, and then remind yourself that they do not define your strength.
When you’re ready, it can help to gently shift your focus toward what you know to be true about yourself. You are capable, resilient, and doing something extraordinary. Reframing your thoughts is not about ignoring your emotions but about creating space for self-compassion and confidence to grow alongside them.
If you find affirmations helpful, you could write them on small cards and place them where you’ll see them often or bring them to your birthing space. Some people enjoy recording their affirmations in their own voice or having a loved one record them, so they can listen to them during birth.
Building mental strength is not about being fearless. It’s about trusting yourself to move through each moment with courage, no matter how it unfolds. Every time you take a breath, every time you pause to center yourself, you are proving that you already have everything you need within you.
Consider Optional Birth Support
When preparing for birth, it is worth thinking carefully about who you want in your space. This is one of those times in life when it is completely okay to be “selfish.” Birth is not a time to worry about pleasing others or managing anyone else’s comfort. The most important thing is what feels right for you and your baby.
Ask yourself who will truly be there for you, no matter the time of day or night. Who brings calm energy when you need it most? Who helps you feel safe, grounded, and respected? Those are the people who belong by your side. If someone’s presence might cause stress or make you feel like you need to take care of them, it is perfectly fine to say no. You deserve to focus on your own needs during this experience.
If you are giving birth without a partner, consider using a doula. Doulas are trained professionals who provide emotional, physical, and informational support throughout pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. They can offer comfort measures, help you advocate for your preferences, and bring steady reassurance when you need it most. Some doulas even provide postpartum visits to help you adjust to life with your baby.
In some areas, doulas may be covered by insurance or Medicaid, and there are also low-cost or volunteer doulas available for those who qualify. Furthermore, your HSA (Health Savings Account) or FSA (Flexible Spending Account) may help you cover doula and postpartum services. High Country Doulas offers a variety of options, and reaching out to explore what might work best for you could be a great place to start.
If a doula isn’t accessible, you might consider having a trusted friend or family member present at your birth. Choose someone who can show up fully for you, offering quiet strength and encouragement. Even one supportive person can make a world of difference. If no one can be there in person, technology can still bring comfort. A video call or even a short message from someone you love can remind you that you’re not alone. Sometimes, hearing a familiar voice or seeing a caring face, even through a screen, can make all the difference.
Communicating and Planning Ahead
It can be helpful to let your provider and the hospital staff know that you’ll be giving birth without a partner. This allows them to understand your situation and offer additional support when needed. They may also be able to connect you with helpful resources or make small adjustments to help you feel more comfortable and cared for.
Creating a birth plan is another powerful way to prepare. A written plan helps your care team understand your preferences and values so that your wishes can still be honored even if you are not able to express them verbally during labor. This can include things like your preferred pain management options, who you want in the room, and how you’d like your baby to be cared for after birth.
Your nurses can also be an incredible source of comfort and encouragement. Many parents share that their nurses provided some of the most meaningful support during birth, offering calm reassurance, gentle guidance, and a caring presence throughout the process.
If possible, you may want to consider a birth setting that is known for providing hands-on and continuous support, such as a birth center or a hospital that prioritizes patient-centered care. Choosing an environment where staff take time to truly listen and respond to your needs can make a big difference in how supported you feel during labor.
Preparing for Labor on Your Own
Preparing for labor when you will be giving birth without a partner can help you feel more confident, calm, and supported. Thinking ahead about practical, emotional, and environmental needs allows you to focus on yourself and your baby when the time comes.
Transportation: In the weeks leading up to labor, consider your plan for getting to your birth location. Think about who might be available to drive you or what alternative options you could use if labor starts unexpectedly. Knowing you have reliable transportation ready can bring a sense of security and peace.
Mental Strength: Everyone can nurture mental strength in their own way. Some people find it through faith or spiritual practices, while others feel steadier through quiet reflection, meditation, or time in nature. Affirmations, learning about birth, or support from loved ones can also offer reassurance. Exploring what feels right for you can help you carry a sense of calm, confidence, and resilience into labor
Prepare Your Home: In the days or weeks before birth, setting up your home for easy movement and accessibility can make postpartum recovery smoother. Keep essentials within reach and consider who you might call for help if needed. Organizing baby items, meals, and comfort supplies ahead of time allows you to focus fully on your baby once they arrive.
Get Ready Early: Having your hospital bag packed, paperwork completed, and baby essentials ready can reduce stress and help you feel organized and in control. These small preparations can give you space to focus on your body and your experience as labor begins.
Make Your Space Your Own: Thinking about what makes you feel calm and supported can make a big difference. Gathering items like a soft blanket, a favorite pillow, photos, or comforting scents in advance allows you to create a space that feels safe and familiar. If you plan to use tools like a birth ball or shower during labor, having them ready beforehand can help you feel more centered and comfortable.
Create a Grounding Toolkit: Consider the techniques you might use to manage intensity during labor. Breathing exercises, visualization, gentle movement, or other relaxation tools practiced in advance can help you feel more prepared and confident in your ability to navigate labor.
Postpartum Support: Even before your baby arrives, it can help to think about how you will care for yourself in the days and weeks afterward. Arranging check-ins from loved ones, planning meals, or connecting with a postpartum doula can make recovery smoother and less stressful.
Giving birth without a partner can be a powerful and transformative experience. It is a chance to connect with your own strength, trust your instincts, and honor the incredible work your body is doing. Support surrounds you in many forms, from your care team to loved ones and the inner resilience you are building. At High Country Doulas, we are here to walk with you, offering guidance, encouragement, and care throughout pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Every step is a chance to discover your own resilience and grow more confident in yourself. You’ve got this!
Resources:
Facebook Groups:
Military Birth Resource Network and Postpartum Coalition
Single Parents: Surviving Single Parenthood
Postpartum Support International
NC Resources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/groups/north-carolina?category=pregnancy-prenatal-postpartum
https://womenscenter.wfu.edu/deacon-doulas/
TN Resources:
https://www.tn.gov/health/health-program-areas/fhw/mhi/for-women.html
https://tennessee.helpingmamas.org/programs/
https://www.balladhealth.org/prenatal-family-classes
https://tipqc.org/community-resource/
https://www.balladhealth.org/resources/strong-starts
https://www.etsu.edu/nursing/etsunfp/
https://maryshandsnetwork.org/
Additional Resources:
https://www.singlemothersbychoice.org/
https://thelifeofasinglemom.com/national-resource-guide-new/