Feeling Supported During Birth — Even Without a Partner
If you find yourself preparing for birth without a partner, know that it doesn’t mean you have to feel unsupported or alone. There are many ways to create a sense of strength, care, and connection throughout this journey, regardless of who is or isn't physically present.
When people think of pregnancy, they most often imagine two people involved — but that’s not the reality for everyone. Some people choose to become single parents from the start. Others find themselves navigating pregnancy after loss or separation. Sometimes, partners are away for work, deployment, or other circumstances beyond anyone’s control. Every situation is unique, and each story is equally valid.
If you find yourself preparing for birth without a partner, know that it doesn’t mean you have to feel unsupported or alone. There are many ways to create a sense of strength, care, and connection throughout this journey, regardless of who is or isn't physically present.
Preparing for Birth
Taking a childbirth education class can be one of the best ways to prepare. Classes help you understand what to expect during labor and birth while connecting you with others who are walking a similar path. They can also open your eyes to the wide range of choices you have when it comes to birth. Everything from comfort measures and pain management options to positions for labor, breathing techniques, and ways to advocate for yourself in the moment.
High Country Doulas offers a range of childbirth education classes designed to meet people wherever they are in their journey. There are virtual options for those who prefer to learn from home, as well as in-person classes where doulas can attend in place of a partner to offer comfort and support. Additionally, a pregnant person can bring someone in replace of a partner such as a trusted family member, friend, or their doula.
There are also single or small-group classes available in many communities and online spaces for those preparing to give birth solo. Taking time to learn about what to expect can help you connect more deeply with your body and your instincts as you prepare to welcome your baby.
Finding Your Circle of Support
Support can look different for everyone. It might be trusted friends, a family member, or a doula who offers grounding reassurance during this time. For some, community can also be found in online spaces, birth groups, or even among neighbors and coworkers. There is no single way to build your circle, and what matters most is feeling seen, safe, and encouraged.
Focus Your Mind
Birth is both a physical and emotional experience, and the way you prepare your mind can have a powerful impact on how you feel throughout the process. When you’re giving birth without a partner, moments of fear or uncertainty can naturally come up. Thoughts like “I’m scared to do this alone” or “I wish someone were here with me” are completely valid. Try letting those feelings come and go without judgment. Notice them for what they are, and then remind yourself that they do not define your strength.
When you’re ready, it can help to gently shift your focus toward what you know to be true about yourself. You are capable, resilient, and doing something extraordinary. Reframing your thoughts is not about ignoring your emotions but about creating space for self-compassion and confidence to grow alongside them.
If you find affirmations helpful, you could write them on small cards and place them where you’ll see them often or bring them to your birthing space. Some people enjoy recording their affirmations in their own voice or having a loved one record them, so they can listen to them during birth.
Building mental strength is not about being fearless. It’s about trusting yourself to move through each moment with courage, no matter how it unfolds. Every time you take a breath, every time you pause to center yourself, you are proving that you already have everything you need within you.
Consider Optional Birth Support
When preparing for birth, it is worth thinking carefully about who you want in your space. This is one of those times in life when it is completely okay to be “selfish.” Birth is not a time to worry about pleasing others or managing anyone else’s comfort. The most important thing is what feels right for you and your baby.
Ask yourself who will truly be there for you, no matter the time of day or night. Who brings calm energy when you need it most? Who helps you feel safe, grounded, and respected? Those are the people who belong by your side. If someone’s presence might cause stress or make you feel like you need to take care of them, it is perfectly fine to say no. You deserve to focus on your own needs during this experience.
If you are giving birth without a partner, consider using a doula. Doulas are trained professionals who provide emotional, physical, and informational support throughout pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. They can offer comfort measures, help you advocate for your preferences, and bring steady reassurance when you need it most. Some doulas even provide postpartum visits to help you adjust to life with your baby.
In some areas, doulas may be covered by insurance or Medicaid, and there are also low-cost or volunteer doulas available for those who qualify. Furthermore, your HSA (Health Savings Account) or FSA (Flexible Spending Account) may help you cover doula and postpartum services. High Country Doulas offers a variety of options, and reaching out to explore what might work best for you could be a great place to start.
If a doula isn’t accessible, you might consider having a trusted friend or family member present at your birth. Choose someone who can show up fully for you, offering quiet strength and encouragement. Even one supportive person can make a world of difference. If no one can be there in person, technology can still bring comfort. A video call or even a short message from someone you love can remind you that you’re not alone. Sometimes, hearing a familiar voice or seeing a caring face, even through a screen, can make all the difference.
Communicating and Planning Ahead
It can be helpful to let your provider and the hospital staff know that you’ll be giving birth without a partner. This allows them to understand your situation and offer additional support when needed. They may also be able to connect you with helpful resources or make small adjustments to help you feel more comfortable and cared for.
Creating a birth plan is another powerful way to prepare. A written plan helps your care team understand your preferences and values so that your wishes can still be honored even if you are not able to express them verbally during labor. This can include things like your preferred pain management options, who you want in the room, and how you’d like your baby to be cared for after birth.
Your nurses can also be an incredible source of comfort and encouragement. Many parents share that their nurses provided some of the most meaningful support during birth, offering calm reassurance, gentle guidance, and a caring presence throughout the process.
If possible, you may want to consider a birth setting that is known for providing hands-on and continuous support, such as a birth center or a hospital that prioritizes patient-centered care. Choosing an environment where staff take time to truly listen and respond to your needs can make a big difference in how supported you feel during labor.
Preparing for Labor on Your Own
Preparing for labor when you will be giving birth without a partner can help you feel more confident, calm, and supported. Thinking ahead about practical, emotional, and environmental needs allows you to focus on yourself and your baby when the time comes.
Transportation: In the weeks leading up to labor, consider your plan for getting to your birth location. Think about who might be available to drive you or what alternative options you could use if labor starts unexpectedly. Knowing you have reliable transportation ready can bring a sense of security and peace.
Mental Strength: Everyone can nurture mental strength in their own way. Some people find it through faith or spiritual practices, while others feel steadier through quiet reflection, meditation, or time in nature. Affirmations, learning about birth, or support from loved ones can also offer reassurance. Exploring what feels right for you can help you carry a sense of calm, confidence, and resilience into labor
Prepare Your Home: In the days or weeks before birth, setting up your home for easy movement and accessibility can make postpartum recovery smoother. Keep essentials within reach and consider who you might call for help if needed. Organizing baby items, meals, and comfort supplies ahead of time allows you to focus fully on your baby once they arrive.
Get Ready Early: Having your hospital bag packed, paperwork completed, and baby essentials ready can reduce stress and help you feel organized and in control. These small preparations can give you space to focus on your body and your experience as labor begins.
Make Your Space Your Own: Thinking about what makes you feel calm and supported can make a big difference. Gathering items like a soft blanket, a favorite pillow, photos, or comforting scents in advance allows you to create a space that feels safe and familiar. If you plan to use tools like a birth ball or shower during labor, having them ready beforehand can help you feel more centered and comfortable.
Create a Grounding Toolkit: Consider the techniques you might use to manage intensity during labor. Breathing exercises, visualization, gentle movement, or other relaxation tools practiced in advance can help you feel more prepared and confident in your ability to navigate labor.
Postpartum Support: Even before your baby arrives, it can help to think about how you will care for yourself in the days and weeks afterward. Arranging check-ins from loved ones, planning meals, or connecting with a postpartum doula can make recovery smoother and less stressful.
Giving birth without a partner can be a powerful and transformative experience. It is a chance to connect with your own strength, trust your instincts, and honor the incredible work your body is doing. Support surrounds you in many forms, from your care team to loved ones and the inner resilience you are building. At High Country Doulas, we are here to walk with you, offering guidance, encouragement, and care throughout pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Every step is a chance to discover your own resilience and grow more confident in yourself. You’ve got this!
Resources:
Facebook Groups:
Military Birth Resource Network and Postpartum Coalition
Single Parents: Surviving Single Parenthood
Postpartum Support International
NC Resources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/groups/north-carolina?category=pregnancy-prenatal-postpartum
https://womenscenter.wfu.edu/deacon-doulas/
TN Resources:
https://www.tn.gov/health/health-program-areas/fhw/mhi/for-women.html
https://tennessee.helpingmamas.org/programs/
https://www.balladhealth.org/prenatal-family-classes
https://tipqc.org/community-resource/
https://www.balladhealth.org/resources/strong-starts
https://www.etsu.edu/nursing/etsunfp/
https://maryshandsnetwork.org/
Additional Resources:
https://www.singlemothersbychoice.org/
https://thelifeofasinglemom.com/national-resource-guide-new/
Dad Mode: A Postpartum Guide for New & Expecting Fathers
Becoming a dad is like being handed the biggest promotion of your life with zero training, endless overtime, and the cutest boss you’ll ever meet. One moment you’re soaking up newborn snuggles, and the next you’re googling how to swaddle without losing your mind. It’s completely normal to feel stretched thin as you try to support your partner, bond with your newborn, and still take care of yourself. The truth is, dads are a vital part of the postpartum journey, not just as helpers, but as parents who need support. When dads care for their own mental health, they’re better equipped to show up for both mom and baby, creating a stronger and healthier family from the start. Postpartum might seem like a mom's world, but the truth is, dads are living it too.
Becoming a dad is like being handed the biggest promotion of your life with zero training, endless overtime, and the cutest boss you’ll ever meet. One moment you’re soaking up newborn snuggles, and the next you’re googling how to swaddle without losing your mind. It’s completely normal to feel stretched thin as you try to support your partner, bond with your newborn, and still take care of yourself. The truth is, dads are a vital part of the postpartum journey, not just as helpers, but as parents who need support. When dads care for their own mental health, they’re better equipped to show up for both mom and baby, creating a stronger and healthier family from the start. Postpartum might seem like a mom's world, but the truth is, dads are living it too.
Nothing will make you as happy, as sad, as exhausted, or as incredibly proud as fatherhood.
About 1 in 10 dads go through postpartum depression, and first-time dads are almost twice as likely to feel it. Life with a newborn can hit hard. You are running on no sleep, wondering how diapers cost so much, trying to be a supportive partner, and figuring out your new role as a dad. On top of that, a lot of dads feel like they have to stay tough and not let anyone see them struggle. That can make the hard days even harder.
The signs of paternal postpartum depression can look a lot like what moms experience:
Persistent sadness or irritability
Feeling disconnected from your partner or baby
Changes in sleep or appetite
Withdrawing from friends and family
Feeling hopeless, guilty, or overwhelmed
Ignoring these struggles won’t make them disappear; in fact, it can have an effect on your whole family. Research has shown that when either parent experiences untreated depression, it can impact a child’s long-term development, social skills, and family relationships. Supporting dads’ mental health means supporting the whole household.
Even Superdads Need Support
Talk to your doctor: Primary care providers, therapists, and counselors can screen for depression and connect you with resources.
Consider a Post partum doula: They can ease the transition into parenthood supporting mom, helping with newborn care, and giving dads confidence in their role with hands-on tips and encouragement.
Reach out to Postpartum Support International: They offer a free, confidential dad-specific helpline and online support groups.
Connect with other fathers: Sharing your experience with other dads can help you feel less alone and better understood.
Lean on your support system: Don’t be afraid to ask friends or family for help with meals, chores, or even just a listening ear.
Prioritize small self-care steps: Rest when you can, get outside, and keep up with healthy routines like eating well and moving your body.
Happy Mom, Happy Home:
When a new baby arrives, the spotlight often shifts completely onto the little one, but moms need just as much care and attention during this season. Postpartum recovery is no small feat physically, emotionally, and mentally. Moms are healing, adjusting, and running on very little sleep, all while learning how to care for a newborn. That’s a lot to carry, and even the strongest moms need consistent support.
For dads, this is your chance to show up in a way that makes a real difference. Small things matter, like making sure she eats a real meal instead of just grabbing a snack, letting her nap without interruption, or taking over a few chores so she can breathe. Support also looks like listening without trying to “fix” everything, validating her feelings when the days feel long, and reminding her she’s not in this alone. When dads step in with patience, encouragement, and practical help, it not only lightens mom’s load but also strengthens the whole family dynamic. The truth is, when mom feels cared for, everyone feels it.
Building connection one snuggle at a time:
Here’s the part most dads don’t realize: you don’t need to wait for your baby to be older to bond. You matter from day one. Babies know your voice, your touch, your smell, and the more you show up, the stronger that connection becomes. You might not be the one with the milk supply (though you’ll be on bottle duty if that’s part of the plan), but you bring something just as important: your presence. And spoiler alert, your baby doesn’t care if you’re a pro at swaddling or if your singing voice is a little questionable. They just want you.
Becoming a dad is a wild mix of joy, exhaustion, doubt, and love. The good news is, you’re not expected to have it all figured out right away. Postpartum is a time to grow, connect, and soak in the little moments. It’s a chance to support your partner, build a new bond with your baby, and learn as you go. You don’t have to be perfect. What matters most is showing up with patience, love, and support. Take care of your partner, take care of your baby, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. You’re building a foundation for your family that will matter for years to come, one diaper change at a time.
Sources:
https://utswmed.org/medblog/paternal-postpartum-depression/
https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/newborn-care/a-rookie-dads-guide-to-newborns/
Babywearing
Do you ever find yourself needing an extra hand? Babywearing is a hands-free way to carry your baby wherever you go! Along with having extra hands, it promotes a healthy attachment between you and Baby, improves Baby’s mood, and promotes better sleep. The best part is that anyone can do it!
What is babywearing?
Do you ever struggle to get daily chores done while having a little baby in the house? You are not alone! Babywearing allows you to keep a close eye on your baby while also having your hands free to do other tasks. Babywearing is when you use a wrap or other carrying device to carry your baby around on your body. This is something that has been done for centuries, all around the world. Women everywhere choose to wear their babies because it allows for close contact and a hands-free way to hold your infant. There are countless benefits for both you and baby when you decide to try out babywearing. This is a great experience for the two of you to spend quality time with each other.
*frog-leg position
What are the benefits?
Prevents frequent crying
Encourages bonding
Improves baby’s mood
Prevents flat head syndrome
Can promote better daytime sleep
Promotes better social and physical development
More consistent weight gain
Stabilizes heart rate and body temperature
Keeps baby distanced from others (AKA germs)
Can prevent hip dysplasia
Can reduce postpartum depression
Easier for you to stay active
Allows for you to engage with your other children
Allows for you to do daily chores/tasks while keeping an eye on your baby
Is it safe?
If you find the right types of wraps/carriers (there are many) for you and follow the right guidelines, you and your little bundle of joy can be perfectly safe. You will likely have to practice a few times with your baby to get them used to the carrier that you choose. The earlier, the easier it is for your baby to adjust. Remember T.I.C.K.S. to be sure your baby is in the safest position possible.
T-Tight: Make sure your baby is supported and held firmly up against your body.
I-In view at all times: make sure you can always see your baby’s face and that it is not covered by the wrap or pushed into the fabric.
C-Close enough to kiss: Your baby should be close enough to your chin that you should be able to easily kiss the top of their head. This will be both safer for your baby and more comfortable for you, creating better weight distribution to reduce lower back stress.
K-Keep chin off chest: Be sure you can stick two fingers underneath your baby’s chin and that their head will not fall down onto their chest. This ensures the baby’s breathing is not restricted.
S-Supported: The wrap should support your baby’s back with their tummy and chest pressed against you. In some carriers, additional neck support may be needed, especially for newborns. When bending over, additional support can be provided by you placing your hand on the baby’s back. Legs should be in a frog-leg position* (as shown in the picture above). This will keep the hips supported in the proper position to prevent hip dysplasia.
How do I “babywear”?
There are so many different ways that you can wear your baby. Depending on the type of carrier you choose, there are different ways to use it. Some carriers are simple, like a soft structured carrier. Other than adjusting a strap or two, there is not much assembly required. On the other hand, wraps can have more steps to get started with but are the preferred option of many moms. Attached here is a Youtube video showing how to use a common type of wrap. There are also ring slings, Mei Tais, K’tans, and more. The great thing about this is that it is not just for moms, but dads too! Anyone can babywear with the right tools and information! The main thing is to remember to follow TICKS and make sure you feel comfortable.
FAQs
Will I “spoil” my baby by doing this?
No, experts say that during the first few months, babywearing can help facilitate a healthy relationship and attachment between parent and baby. Infants need to be held a lot during the first few months to foster healthy physical and emotional development. Babywearing is a great way to bond with your baby and will not spoil them. It can actually help reduce frequent crying and help them sleep more. Swaddling newborns can also make them feel cozy when you have to put them down in a bassinet or other hard surface.
What carriers should I use?
There are many different types of babywearing devices: stretchy wraps, woven wraps, soft structured carriers, slings, ring wraps, and more. As long as you find one that you like that is of good quality, with no tears or holes, and you follow the T.I.C.K.S. rules, you can use whichever one works best for you and your baby. Remember that there is a learning curve for the baby and they may need time and practice to adjust to a new carrier. A wrap is a long, continuous piece of thick cloth, while a soft carrier is a more structured carrying device similar to a backpack. Not everyone likes the same kind of babywearing device, so it may be beneficial to try out a few different ones to see what you like best. Be sure to get one that is the right size for your baby. Newborns will need a smaller wrap than a baby that is 10 months old. To learn more, consider reading our other blog post, Babywearing: What Carrier is Right For You?
When should I start babywearing?
You can start as soon as possible! The earlier you start babywearing the easier it will be. Newborn babies adjust much quicker than older babies do to something like this. That said, you can start at any point, your older baby may just need a slightly longer adjustment period to get used to being held in that way.
Want to get connected with other babywearing parents?
Parents all over the world love babywearing. There are even babywearing groups in both the High Country and the Tri-Cities that you can join. If you are interested in joining or learning more about the groups, visit their Facebook pages at: High Country Babywearing and TriCities TN Babywearing.
Sources
https://www.verywellfamily.com/facts-about-wearing-your-baby-284456
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/preemie/Pages/Baby-Wearing.aspx
https://brookemaree.com.au/blogs/news/what-are-ticks-babywearing-safety-guidelines
Thoughts of a Postpartum Doula
As postpartum doulas we can be there to offer emotional support, answer questions you may have, offer basic breastfeeding help, help with light household chores, and so much more.
Do you know what a postpartum doula is? Have you ever thought about hiring a postpartum doula?
Many people hire us because we can be that extra helping hand that is very much needed during this big transition. As postpartum doulas we can be there to offer emotional support, answer questions you may have, offer basic breastfeeding help, help with light household chores, and so much more. And we do this all while being an unbiased, professional person there to help in any way we can.
Some things we always make sure to check in on…
Breastfeeding & feeding concerns.
How are you handling this transition?
How is your partner handling this transition?
Listening to your birth story.
Setting up a system for us to better help you.
Have you eaten today?
Are you drinking enough?
Help with baby wearing & other baby items.
As new parents we end up with new gadgets and swaddles which can sometimes be overwhelming to navigate how to use all the things. We are there to help demonstrate and figure what works well for you and baby.
Why we love overnights…
As Postpartum doulas, we often support parents with overnight stays. This gives parents time for some much needed rest. Overnight stays can look different in different homes, depending on what your specific sleep goals are. Our goal is to help you get the rest you need. Our doulas are there to feed your baby, or bring the baby to you to feed, and get baby back to sleep throughout the night. Some parents provide breastmilk or formula to us to feed the baby throughout the night, while others may want to woken up to breastfeed. This is completely up to you and what you decide when we arrive. We are there to support any needs the baby may have, but also any needs you may have as well.
More about what we do…
It is special when we can work with our doula babies until they are 12 months old! It warms our hearts to see them grow. If you were to still need that extra support after your baby reaches 12 months, here at High Country Doulas, we offer nanny care. Something to always keep in mind is that once you are under the care of a postpartum doula, we are always there to answer any questions you may have and to be a resource to you.
Because we see so many babies we are familiar with their behaviors and have a list of local referrals if you need one! That could be with one of our doulas trained in specific areas or ordering frozen meals or getting you names of local chiropractor or acupuncture specialists.
Our advice to you…
If you or someone you know is thinking about hiring a postpartum doula, reach out and ask questions to learn more. We are here to help and be a resource to you and your growing family.
Love,
Your High Country Postpartum Doula
Thoughts from previous postpartum visits…
“Any time my wife or I had questions, they were more than happy to help and were very quick to respond. ”
“The nights they were here became our favorite nights of the week!”
“She was also a great resource after the birth for help with breastfeeding, sleep schedules, baby comfort techniques, and postpartum emotions.”