Dad Mode: A Postpartum Guide for New & Expecting Fathers

Becoming a dad is like being handed the biggest promotion of your life with zero training, endless overtime, and the cutest boss you’ll ever meet. One moment you’re soaking up newborn snuggles, and the next you’re googling how to swaddle without losing your mind. It’s completely normal to feel stretched thin as you try to support your partner, bond with your newborn, and still take care of yourself. The truth is, dads are a vital part of the postpartum journey, not just as helpers, but as parents who need support. When dads care for their own mental health, they’re better equipped to show up for both mom and baby, creating a stronger and healthier family from the start. Postpartum might seem like a mom's world, but the truth is, dads are living it too.

Nothing will make you as happy, as sad, as exhausted, or as incredibly proud as fatherhood.

About 1 in 10 dads go through postpartum depression, and first-time dads are almost twice as likely to feel it. Life with a newborn can hit hard. You are running on no sleep, wondering how diapers cost so much, trying to be a supportive partner, and figuring out your new role as a dad. On top of that, a lot of dads feel like they have to stay tough and not let anyone see them struggle. That can make the hard days even harder.

The signs of paternal postpartum depression can look a lot like what moms experience:

• Persistent sadness or irritability

• Feeling disconnected from your partner or baby

• Changes in sleep or appetite

• Withdrawing from friends and family

• Feeling hopeless, guilty, or overwhelmed

Ignoring these struggles won’t make them disappear; in fact, it can have an effect on your whole family. Research has shown that when either parent experiences untreated depression, it can impact a child’s long-term development, social skills, and family relationships. Supporting dads’ mental health means supporting the whole household.

Even Superdads Need Support

Talk to your doctor: Primary care providers, therapists, and counselors can screen for depression and connect you with resources.

Consider a Post partum doula: They can ease the transition into parenthood supporting mom, helping with newborn care, and giving dads confidence in their role with hands-on tips and encouragement.

Reach out to Postpartum Support International:  They offer a free, confidential dad-specific helpline and online support groups.

Connect with other fathers: Sharing your experience with other dads can help you feel less alone and better understood.

Lean on your support system: Don’t be afraid to ask friends or family for help with meals, chores, or even just a listening ear.

Prioritize small self-care steps: Rest when you can, get outside, and keep up with healthy routines like eating well and moving your body.

Happy Mom, Happy Home:

When a new baby arrives, the spotlight often shifts completely onto the little one, but moms need just as much care and attention during this season. Postpartum recovery is no small feat physically, emotionally, and mentally. Moms are healing, adjusting, and running on very little sleep, all while learning how to care for a newborn. That’s a lot to carry, and even the strongest moms need consistent support.

For dads, this is your chance to show up in a way that makes a real difference. Small things matter, like making sure she eats a real meal instead of just grabbing a snack, letting her nap without interruption, or taking over a few chores so she can breathe. Support also looks like listening without trying to “fix” everything, validating her feelings when the days feel long, and reminding her she’s not in this alone. When dads step in with patience, encouragement, and practical help, it not only lightens mom’s load but also strengthens the whole family dynamic. The truth is, when mom feels cared for, everyone feels it.

Building connection one snuggle at a time:

Here’s the part most dads don’t realize: you don’t need to wait for your baby to be older to bond. You matter from day one. Babies know your voice, your touch, your smell, and the more you show up, the stronger that connection becomes. You might not be the one with the milk supply (though you’ll be on bottle duty if that’s part of the plan), but you bring something just as important: your presence. And spoiler alert, your baby doesn’t care if you’re a pro at swaddling or if your singing voice is a little questionable. They just want you.

Becoming a dad is a wild mix of joy, exhaustion, doubt, and love. The good news is, you’re not expected to have it all figured out right away. Postpartum is a time to grow, connect, and soak in the little moments. It’s a chance to support your partner, build a new bond with your baby, and learn as you go. You don’t have to be perfect. What matters most is showing up with patience, love, and support. Take care of your partner, take care of your baby, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. You’re building a foundation for your family that will matter for years to come, one diaper change at a time. 

Sources:

https://postpartum.net/dads-mental-health/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20047971790&gbraid=0AAAAApQ8Bi08WLRbIPhSotESRc0LLbc3v&gclid=CjwKCAjwk7DFBhBAEiwAeYbJsYFnHVpul1FaAGRO8FCRfGGzlErTEtDQXu6vhbrq6LQNnpQ6rfOOtBoC3K0QAvD_BwE

https://utswmed.org/medblog/paternal-postpartum-depression/

https://www.lifewithababy.com/blog/13222701?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20581242234&gbraid=0AAAAADcM7DkBZKEgT8FHlrjjQARziLto0&gclid=CjwKCAjwk7DFBhBAEiwAeYbJseIs42HcVWtjSI6YSHNqCR5eoRY8_0JEdC4U7wvBgwBvzanWXIym8xoC6zgQAvD_BwE

https://www.mountcarmelhealth.com/newsroom/blog-articles/tips-new-dads-how-support-your-newborn-and-partner-during-post-partum

https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/newborn-care/a-rookie-dads-guide-to-newborns/

Babywearing: What Carrier is Right For You?

Where do I start? 

Are you overwhelmed by all the babywearing options out there? Don’t worry you are not alone. There are so many things to consider when you want to start. Babywearing is a great way to have a hands-free carrying experience with your baby. There are so many benefits to this awesome parenting tool. That said, it can be a little overwhelming to choose the best carrier for you and your baby if you do not know what to look for.

What types of carrying devices are available? 

• Stretchy wraps 

• Woven wraps 

• Soft-structured carriers 

• Ring slings 

• Pouch slings 

• Mei tais 

• Baby carrier backpacks 

• Babywearing Clothes

Stretchy Wraps

Description: A stretchy wrap (such as a Moby or Solly wrap) is a long piece of fabric that you tie around yourself first, and then position your baby in it. With this type of carrier, you will need to learn how to wrap it in order to ensure the safety of both you and your baby. These wraps can be made out of a variety of stretchy fabrics such as cotton jersey, knit jersey, and knitted cotton. They come in all kinds of different colors, patterns, and styles. These wraps are generally one-size-fits-all and are perfect for newborns all the way up to 20lbs. Once your baby grows past 20lbs, the wrap will start to sag and not provide as much support for you or baby, but there are plenty of other carriers that are suitable for bigger babies. 

Age/weight range: birth-20lbs 

Pros: 

• Great for newborns 

• Versatile 

• Comfortable

• Grows with baby (up to 20lbs) 

• Many styles 

Cons: 

• Can get warm

• Will have to learn proper assembly 

• Can no longer use after 20lbs 

Woven Wraps 

Description: Woven wraps are very similar to stretchy wraps, except they are made out of different materials. They are made out of materials like wool, cotton, and linen which are a bit thicker and not stretchy like the stretchy wraps are. These wraps are the longest-lasting and most versatile of all of the carriers. Like stretchy wraps, a woven wrap is a long piece of fabric that you can tie around you in multiple ways in order to best secure your baby to you. They also come in a variety of styles, so you can be comfortable and cute at the same time. 

Age/weight range: birth- toddler age

Pros: 

• Great for newborns 

• Versatile 

• Comfortable

• Grows with baby into toddlerhood 

• Many styles 

• Sturdy 

Cons: 

• Can get warm

• Will have to learn proper assembly 

• May have to wrap up extra long fabric

Soft-structured Carriers

Description: Soft-structured carriers (AKA buckle carriers or SSCs) are soft fabrics that are sewn together to make a structured seat with straps and buckles to safely secure baby. These popular carriers are pretty easy to figure out and require little to no assembly. You just put them on and then put your baby in and adjust the straps. They are not as newborn-friendly as the wraps are. Most SSCs do not provide the proper neck support that newborns need, so they need an additional insert to be used for newborns. 

Age/weight range: 7-50lbs 

Pros: 

• Grows with baby into toddlerhood 

• Sturdy 

• Easy to use 

• Comfortable 

• Versatile 

Cons: 

• Can be pricey 

• Need an additional insert for newborns 

Ring Slings 

Description: Like woven wraps, ring slings are also long pieces of thick, non-stretchy fabric. Ring slings differ from wraps in that they stretch from one shoulder to the opposite hip. This allows for your baby to be carried on your hip or in front of you. These slings have either 1 or 2 layers. If the sling has 2 layers it will be stronger and more suitable to carry toddlers up to 35lbs, whereas a 1-layered sling can typically carry up to 25lbs. All ring slings have 2 rings, one of which you will need to thread the long loose end through, and then tuck it under the other ring. Baby’s weight will keep the rings from slipping, so there is no need to tie this type of carrier. Like most wraps, ring slings are safe for newborns and come in a variety of colors and patterns. 

Age/weight range: birth-35lbs 

Pros: 

• Great for newborns 

• Adjustable 

• Easy to use 

• Grows with baby (up to 35lbs) 

• Many styles 

• Can be used with breastfeeding 

Cons: 

• Can cause shoulder pain 

• May have to wrap up extra long fabric

Pouch Slings 

Description: Pouch slings are circles of thick, non-stretchy fabric that go around your body from one shoulder to the opposite hip. Babies sit in the deep pouch on either your hip or in front of you. These slings come in a variety of sizes as they are not adjustable. The sling must not only fit baby but also the caregiver using it, this means it is not shareable between caregivers unless they are similar sizes.

Age/weight range: depends on the size 

Pros: 

• Great for newborns 

• Easy to use 

• Many styles 

Cons: 

• Not adjustable 

• Can cause shoulder pain 

Mei Tais 

Description: Mei Tais (AKA Meh Dais) are a hybrid of a wrap and a soft structured carrier. Like SSCs, they have a structured seat for the baby to sit in, but instead of having buckles and straps, they have long strands of fabric that you have to tie (like a wrap). These types of carriers can be newborn-friendly depending on the model and can be used into toddlerhood up to about 44lbs. 

Age/weight range: Birth-44lbs 

Pros: 

• Many styles 

• Adjustable 

• Comfortable 

• Grows with baby (up to 44lbs) 

Cons: 

• Will have to learn proper assembly 

Baby Carrier Backpacks 

Description: Baby carrier backpacks are large, sturdy, and very structured. They are great for walks, hikes, and other outdoor activities but are not the most practical for everyday life. The backpacks are only suitable for babies who already have good neck control and are able to sit up on their own. These carriers are worn on your back with the baby in the seated position the entire time. They are easily adjustable and can be really comfortable because of the great weight distribution they provide. 

Age/weight range: 16-40lbs

Pros: 

• Sturdy 

• Adjustable 

• Great for outdoor activities

• Comfortable 

• Extra storage 

Cons: 

• Bulky 

• Heavy

• Not newborn friendly  

Babywearing Clothes

Description: Babywearing clothes can be anything from shirts to overalls that are specifically designed for babywearing. They have extra space in them that is large enough to fit your baby. These allow for skin-to-skin contact and are great for breastfeeding. Babywearing clothes are available in a variety of sizes but they are not adjustable, so they are not sharable between caregivers. There are different types that are just made for lounging or others that are made for walking around and doing chores.  

Age/weight range: birth- 45lbs  

Pros: 

• Great for newborns 

• Allow for skin-to-skin contact

• Comfortable 

• Easy to use 

Cons: 

• Not adjustable 

While there are general guidelines for each type of carrier, remember to always check the instructions on whichever one you choose for the best, safest fit for you and your baby.

Resources: 

If you’re looking for a great local resource, try visiting Bluebird Exchange in Boone. They have all sorts of carriers and other super cute things for your baby. If you want to learn more about the safety precautions and benefits of this wonderful parenting technique, check out our other blog post on babywearing. There are also Facebook groups with tips and tricks in both the High Country - Boone and the Tri-Cities TN.

Sources 

https://www.littlebabygear.com/types-baby-carriers/

https://amothershipdown.com/types-of-baby-carriers/

Babywearing

What is babywearing? 

Do you ever struggle to get daily chores done while having a little baby in the house? You are not alone! Babywearing allows you to keep a close eye on your baby while also having your hands free to do other tasks. Babywearing is when you use a wrap or other carrying device to carry your baby around on your body. This is something that has been done for centuries, all around the world. Women everywhere choose to wear their babies because it allows for close contact and a hands-free way to hold your infant. There are countless benefits for both you and baby when you decide to try out babywearing. This is a great experience for the two of you to spend quality time with each other.

*frog-leg position

 What are the benefits?

• Prevents frequent crying 

• Encourages bonding 

• Improves baby’s mood

• Prevents flat head syndrome

• Can promote better daytime sleep

• Promotes better social and physical development

• More consistent weight gain

• Stabilizes heart rate and body temperature

• Keeps baby distanced from others (AKA germs)

• Can prevent hip dysplasia

• Can reduce postpartum depression

• Easier for you to stay active

• Allows for you to engage with your other children 

• Allows for you to do daily chores/tasks while keeping an eye on your baby

 Is it safe? 

If you find the right types of wraps/carriers (there are many) for you and follow the right guidelines, you and your little bundle of joy can be perfectly safe. You will likely have to practice a few times with your baby to get them used to the carrier that you choose. The earlier, the easier it is for your baby to adjust. Remember T.I.C.K.S. to be sure your baby is in the safest position possible. 

• T-Tight: Make sure your baby is supported and held firmly up against your body.

• I-In view at all times: make sure you can always see your baby’s face and that it is not covered by the wrap or pushed into the fabric.

• C-Close enough to kiss: Your baby should be close enough to your chin that you should be able to easily kiss the top of their head. This will be both safer for your baby and more comfortable for you, creating better weight distribution to reduce lower back stress.

• K-Keep chin off chest: Be sure you can stick two fingers underneath your baby’s chin and that their head will not fall down onto their chest. This ensures the baby’s breathing is not restricted. 

• S-Supported: The wrap should support your baby’s back with their tummy and chest pressed against you. In some carriers, additional neck support may be needed, especially for newborns. When bending over, additional support can be provided by you placing your hand on the baby’s back. Legs should be in a frog-leg position* (as shown in the picture above). This will keep the hips supported in the proper position to prevent hip dysplasia.

How do I “babywear”? 

There are so many different ways that you can wear your baby. Depending on the type of carrier you choose, there are different ways to use it. Some carriers are simple, like a soft structured carrier. Other than adjusting a strap or two, there is not much assembly required. On the other hand, wraps can have more steps to get started with but are the preferred option of many moms. Attached here is a Youtube video showing how to use a common type of wrap. There are also ring slings, Mei Tais, K’tans, and more. The great thing about this is that it is not just for moms, but dads too! Anyone can babywear with the right tools and information! The main thing is to remember to follow TICKS and make sure you feel comfortable.

FAQs 

1. Will I “spoil” my baby by doing this? 

   • No, experts say that during the first few months, babywearing can help facilitate a healthy relationship and attachment between parent and baby. Infants need to be held a lot during the first few months to foster healthy physical and emotional development. Babywearing is a great way to bond with your baby and will not spoil them. It can actually help reduce frequent crying and help them sleep more. Swaddling newborns can also make them feel cozy when you have to put them down in a bassinet or other hard surface.

2. What carriers should I use? 

   • There are many different types of babywearing devices: stretchy wraps, woven wraps, soft structured carriers, slings, ring wraps, and more. As long as you find one that you like that is of good quality, with no tears or holes, and you follow the T.I.C.K.S. rules, you can use whichever one works best for you and your baby. Remember that there is a learning curve for the baby and they may need time and practice to adjust to a new carrier. A wrap is a long, continuous piece of thick cloth, while a soft carrier is a more structured carrying device similar to a backpack. Not everyone likes the same kind of babywearing device, so it may be beneficial to try out a few different ones to see what you like best. Be sure to get one that is the right size for your baby. Newborns will need a smaller wrap than a baby that is 10 months old. To learn more, consider reading our other blog post, Babywearing: What Carrier is Right For You?

3. When should I start babywearing? 

   • You can start as soon as possible! The earlier you start babywearing the easier it will be. Newborn babies adjust much quicker than older babies do to something like this. That said, you can start at any point, your older baby may just need a slightly longer adjustment period to get used to being held in that way. 

Want to get connected with other babywearing parents? 

Parents all over the world love babywearing. There are even babywearing groups in both the High Country and the Tri-Cities that you can join. If you are interested in joining or learning more about the groups, visit their Facebook pages at: High Country Babywearing and TriCities TN Babywearing.

Sources

https://www.verywellfamily.com/facts-about-wearing-your-baby-284456

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/preemie/Pages/Baby-Wearing.aspx

https://thenewmomschool.com/2018/06/27/babywearing101/#:~:text=A%3A%20DO%20always%20follow%20proper,or%20if%20you%20feel%20uncomfortable.

https://brookemaree.com.au/blogs/news/what-are-ticks-babywearing-safety-guidelines

https://momlovesbest.com/benefits-of-babywearing

Thoughts of a Postpartum Doula

Do you know what a postpartum doula is? Have you ever thought about hiring a postpartum doula?

Many people hire us because we can be that extra helping hand that is very much needed during this big transition. As postpartum doulas we can be there to offer emotional support, answer questions you may have, offer basic breastfeeding help, help with light household chores, and so much more. And we do this all while being an unbiased, professional person there to help in any way we can.

Some things we always make sure to check in on…

• Breastfeeding & feeding concerns.

• How are you handling this transition?

• How is your partner handling this transition?

• Listening to your birth story.

• Setting up a system for us to better help you.

• Have you eaten today?

• Are you drinking enough?

• Help with baby wearing & other baby items.

As new parents we end up with new gadgets and swaddles which can sometimes be overwhelming to navigate how to use all the things. We are there to help demonstrate and figure what works well for you and baby.

Why we love overnights…

As Postpartum doulas, we often support parents with overnight stays. This gives parents time for some much needed rest. Overnight stays can look different in different homes, depending on what your specific sleep goals are. Our goal is to help you get the rest you need. Our doulas are there to feed your baby, or bring the baby to you to feed, and get baby back to sleep throughout the night. Some parents provide breastmilk or formula to us to feed the baby throughout the night, while others may want to woken up to breastfeed. This is completely up to you and what you decide when we arrive. We are there to support any needs the baby may have, but also any needs you may have as well.

More about what we do…

It is special when we can work with our doula babies until they are 12 months old! It warms our hearts to see them grow. If you were to still need that extra support after your baby reaches 12 months, here at High Country Doulas, we offer nanny care. Something to always keep in mind is that once you are under the care of a postpartum doula, we are always there to answer any questions you may have and to be a resource to you.

Because we see so many babies we are familiar with their behaviors and have a list of local referrals if you need one! That could be with one of our doulas trained in specific areas or ordering frozen meals or getting you names of local chiropractor or acupuncture specialists.

Our advice to you…

If you or someone you know is thinking about hiring a postpartum doula, reach out and ask questions to learn more. We are here to help and be a resource to you and your growing family.

Love, 

Your High Country Postpartum Doula

Thoughts from previous postpartum visits…

“Any time my wife or I had questions, they were more than happy to help and were very quick to respond. ”

— Previous Postpartum Client

“The nights they were here became our favorite nights of the week!”

— Previous Postpartum Client

“She was also a great resource after the birth for help with breastfeeding, sleep schedules, baby comfort techniques, and postpartum emotions.”

— Previous Postpartum Client

10 Tips to Prepare for Your Newborn Photo Shoot

Today on the blog, we are highlighting one of our community partners; Chelsea Zimmerman of Flightless Bird Photography.

In this guest blog post, Chelsea explains the difference between traditional newborn photography, and her preferred style, "newborn lifestyle photography." If poses are what you prefer, check out this article from pixpa.com touting ways to get creative with props.

Plus, she gives her 10 best tips for pulling your professional photo session off with ease.

You can see Chelsea's work on throughout this blog post, and on her website: www.flightlessbirdphotgraphy.com

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Most soon-to-be parents are familiar with newborn photography, but the term “lifestyle newborn session” is less known. Lifestyle newborn photos focus on a natural look when photographing the baby. These sessions break away from the posed, structured shots and instead capture little ones just as they are.

The photographer strives to capture genuine connection rather than forced poses, and the result is pure magic. I prefer lifestyle photography over traditional newborn photography because to me it feels more genuine. I feel like it captures a new family more accurately and beautifully than a structured photoshoot. The early months home with baby may not be "picture perfect," and that's ok. Lifestyle photography is the perfect way to capture the real memories and beautiful moments of early parenthood.

Over the years, I've learned a lot about what makes a lifestyle photo shoot successful. If you're considering a lifestyle session for your family, here's my top tips for pulling it off with ease.

10 Tips to Prepare for a Successful Lifestyle Newborn Session:

1). Plan it for the first 1-10 days of life.

Little ones are newborns for a small window of time. Capture the sweet early days of snuggles and sleepy eyes. You'll be surprised at how quickly your baby will grow out of the "newborn look." It's best to plan your newborn lifestyle photo shoot for the first 1-10 days of life. I know that sounds early, but trust me, it makes things much easier. After approximately 2 weeks of life, a baby's relaxin hormone levels drop, making their limbs more stiff. They are also less sleepy after that 2 week mark, which makes photographing them more challenging.

2). Trust Your Photographer

Choosing your photographer can be a process. You want to be sure they will be available during that special 10 day window, have reliable equipment, and produce work that you can connect with. Ask for samples of their work in lifestyle newborn photography. Reading reviews is a great way to be sure your photographer is reliable. 

Chose carefully. But once you've decided, trust their vision. Now it's time for you to relax and enjoy this experience with your family.

3). Relax

Relax. Relax into your partner. Relax into this special, once-in-a-lifetime moment with the newest member of your family. I want to capture that sweet newness – the genuine expressions, shifts, and growth of your family in the early transition days.

Take the pressure off of yourself to 'do it right' and allow yourself to be present in the moment. I always tell my families "you can't mess this up," and it's true. I'm there to capture the raw beauty of your reality, messy mom hair and all.

4). Embrace Imperfection

This is a special transition time for your family. Sure this time is hectic, but you’ll welcome the memories of sweet chaos as you look back at these photos months and years down the road.  Rather than focusing on matching outfits and perfect props, invite me into your real world to witness everyday life with you. 

Be affectionate, cuddle, and soak up this special time. I'll be there to capture it all; your sweet baby, your family, and the emotional connection you share.  

5). Take care of yourself

Drink lots of water. Make sure to eat something. If you’re hungry – or baby or daddy is hungry – during the session, eat something. If you want to take a nap while dad and the photographer finishes up some of the last shots, go for it. Take care and be easy on yourself.

6). Just go with it

Little one will inevitably get hungry, have a dirty diaper, or need a break. And that’s okay! This is why I (and many lifestyle photographers) budget 2 hours for a session. Center the session on baby's needs and wants, and everyone will be happy in the end.

7). Stick to 2-3 outfits for baby

Most newborns would rather not have 10 wardrobe changes in 2 hours, so pick your 2 favorite outfits to keep little one happy.

8). Remember the little details

I love photographing nursery decorations, special blankets, storybooks, or other sentimental items that add meaning to the session. Let me know what means most to you.

9). Include pets

I can’t tell you how much I love photographing fur babies with their humans! This is a great opportunity to include the four-legged members of your family.

10). Don't stress about the mess

I can't speak for all photographers, but when I do a newborn lifestyle photo shoot, I generally stick to 2-3 locations. Most common places are the living room, the nursery, and the parent's bedroom. Wherever your biggest windows are is generally where we'll be for most of the shoot. So don't stress about the mess in the kitchen, or the laundry on your couch. Throw your clutter in the closet and don't worry about making the whole house spotless.

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Invite Chelsea into this special time in your life. High Country Doulas readers get an exclusive 10% discount off of any photography service, including birth, newborn, and her special "first 48" session.

Mention High Country Doulas to Chelsea to receive your exclusive 10% discount.

Follow Chelsea at:

• instagram.com/flightlessbirdphotography

• facebook.com/flightlessbirdphotography

• Visit: www.flightlessbirdphotography.com

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Read more tips for capturing the best newborn photos:

Newborn Photos: Creative Ideas & Posting with Props — pixpa.com (Anisha Singh)