Dads and Doulas
Have you ever asked a new dad about the birth of his child?
The corner of his mouth turns up as he looks down, remembering the moment, his eyes begin to sparkle as he composes himself to share this life changing memory with you. He thinks of how to phrase it or how much to tell.
In the end, he just stays, "It was amazing, SHE was so strong..and I was SO glad our doula was there!" Sometimes, Dads and partners just need to know that doulas and care providers 'have their back' so to speak.
Some dads want to be engaged with the experiences that their partner is going through during pregnancy; the physical changes of growing a baby (except maybe labor itself), feeling kicks (from the inside), & the questions and affection from strangers.
Some dads want to know things are 'taken care of' because they don't see themselves as 'doing so well' during the actual birth (and maybe don't want to admit it), and a doula's constant care helps to assuage their protective nature.
Inside, dads are unsure how to get control of something they have no control over...birth. So they make their partner a protein packed breakfast, ask her how she is feeling, rub her swollen feet and worry how well they will handle birth. And the big question, Will she be ok? Will the baby be ok? What if something goes wrong?
Dads/partners need doulas. Some don't know yet why, but they've been told to 'hire a doula'. They may be skeptical at first, but then they meet their doula(s)..."Can she really do that?" "She seems to know what she's talking about." "They stay by your side the entire labor and birth?" "Am I off the hook?" "NO, she's going to support me too." "Give me cues and pointers to comfort my wife." "Wow, she's a rock star!"
Doulaing dads is an amazing part of being a doula. Partners don't get the opportunity to physically experience pregnancy, but they go through changes of their own.
Doulas provide education to help understand the physical & emotional changes of pregnancy; what's normal?, interpreting medical jargon, & understanding choices they have. With a doula's guidance dads feel more connected to the pregnancy, confident in their ability to support their partners & in their knowledge of the upcoming labor & birth.
"Doulas are worth it!"